


The On-Boarding Process

by adiduck (book_people)



Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Multi, People Are Keeping Things From Agatha, She Is Put Out, old fic (no longer canon compliant?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-19 00:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4726370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/book_people/pseuds/adiduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agatha Heterodyne has just discovered that certain individuals have been keeping IMPORTANT INFORMATION from her. She is not best pleased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The On-Boarding Process

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Asuka Kureru (Askerian)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Askerian/gifts).



> This is a fic I wrote about a year ago on tumblr. It was initially going to be part of a wider multichapter, but the bunny died on me. It stands on its own pretty well, though, so I'm posting it here. Maybe I'll write more one day!
> 
> Please excuse the old writing!

Agatha slammed open the door to the study she, Gil, and Tarvek had designated their (third) “temporary” War Room with what looked like as much force as she could physically put into the gesture. Considering the last few years, this was a lot of force. The resultant bang sent Gil and Tarvek lunging for Gil’s lightning rod and Tarvek’s borrowed death ray, respectively, and the door careening off the wall and back towards her. She banged it back into the wall again as she passed. 

“ _Did either_ ,” she started, clearly trying to keep her voice steady and failing spectacularly, “ _either_ of you know that the jaegers won’t accept medical attention from anyone but me?”

Gil stared at her, and then glanced at Tarvek. His face was entirely blank. Gil sighed and (optimistically) lowered his weapon. “I take it you didn’t.”

“Aaaaaargh!” Agatha answered, and kicked the door. “I’ve been sending them out after military targets! _Your_ military targets! For a year! They’ve been fighting steadily for _six years_!”

“We assumed someone had told you,” Tarvek said, putting his weapon down. “I found out about it in the first month after the… time barrier was removed.”

“ _No_ ,” Agatha gritted, stomping over to the table and placing her hands on it, looming over the plans Gil and Tarvek had been arguing over for the past three hours. “ _Nobody_ told me. Moloch thought Vanamonde had told me, Van thought Carson had told me, Carson thought one of the _jaegers_ would have _possibly mentioned it in six years_ —who told you?” she asked, suddenly glaring exclusively at Tarvek. Tarvek cringed. “Ah. Zeetha.”

“ _AAAAAAAAAAaaargh_ ,” Agatha said, and flipped the table.

Gil made a quick lunge and saved the inkpot, letting the rest of the table’s contents clatter into the space Tarvek had just vacated. Clearly, the siege at their northern border was going to have to wait. He glanced at the door, eyes landing on Maxim, Oggie, and Dimo peeking in, identical cringing looks on their faces. Gil noted that Dimo had positioned himself so that his metal arm was not in any way visible from the door. Gil tilted his head a few times to the side to indicate they should probably leave.

Agatha was still in fine form in the middle of the room, tugging at her hair, eyes wild and face red. ( _God_ , she was beautiful. Also, Gil was pretty sure he had a problem.) “Do you know how I found out?” she was shouting. “Gkika took a _spear through the gut_ , that’s how I found out! She was _bleeding internally_ , and they’d squirreled her away to her bar and bandaged her up and she would have _died_ if I hadn’t _happened to go in looking for her_.” She rounded on Gil, glaring so hard Gil wondered briefly if there was actually a way to attach death rays to your eyes (…and how one would attach death rays to eyes. Hrm…). “And then she tried to _laugh it off_.”

“Ah,” Gil said, still half thinking about eye rays, and then mentally kicked himself. Really? ‘Ah?’

Agatha seemed to agree. “That’s all you have to say?” she shouted. “Six jaegers have died in the last _year_ , Gil! Nobody mentioned I should have been _doing something about it_. I’d never even _met them_.”

“I don’t know what else you want me to say!” Gil admitted, getting a little annoyed now. “It sounds like the jaegers were not telling you on purpose. Why didn’t you ask?”

“ _Why didn’t you tell me_?” 

“I _thought you knew_ ,” Gil shouted back. “Why wouldn’t you have known, Agatha? _Everyone_ knew!”

“I’m so _sick_ of everyone assuming I _know_ ,” Agatha shrieked, waving her arms wildly. “I’m the Heterodyne, I’m not _psychic_. I’ve barely been here a year! I’ve only known I was the Heterodyne for four! I _grew up in Beetleburg, for crying out loud_. How am I supposed to know what everyone needs if _nobody will tell me_?” Then she paused, and Gil could actually _see_ her beginning to Spark in earnest. “That’s it, I’m going to fix this. I am going to go back to Gkika’s bar and finish all the critical cases, and then I am going to sit _every single jaeger in the army_ down and find out who they are and what they need from me, and,” she whirled, fists clenched, and began pacing across the room, hands rubbing together, “and _then_ I am going to sit every man, woman, and child in this _town_ down and do the same thing. No more ‘assuming I know.’ None. I am making it a _decree_. Right!” She spun on her heel and marched out the door, every inch of her screaming that she was a Spark on a mission and the world had better get out of her way.  Gil put the inkpot down and, with a look at Tarvek, followed. “Castle, find Moloch.”

“Yes, Mistress,” the Castle said, far too amused for Gil to be comfortable that any of this was a good idea. “Shall I also announce the decree?”

“Yes, and then make a list of townspeople,” Agatha ordered, grabbing Dimo and Maxim by the metal arms in passing and hauling them after her (Oggie had wisely gotten the hell out of her way and was following at a short distance, ignoring the looks of betrayal from his fellows). “Every single name. And tell them that I am meeting them all right after I finish with the jaegers. Oh, and add the other monsters, too. And anyone else who I’ve not met but have an obligation to in this town that I was never told about.”

“Right away, Mistress. Shall I make a list of obligations to _me_ , as well?”

“Yes,” Agatha said.

“Ah,” Gil tried.

“ _Maintenance_ obligations,” Agatha amended. Gil sighed in relief and ran a hand through his hair, looking at Tarvek as he caught up with all the documents they’d been working through.

“We’ll help,” Gil added. “If the jaegers aren’t comfortable with us doing the actual medical work, we can at least help sort out the critical cases.”

“And perhaps read over the list of townspeople,” Tarvek added. “And the list of initial repairs.” (“Spoilsports,” the Castle muttered.)

“Good,” Agatha said, Spark in her stride and angry determination in her voice, and together they strode out into Mechanicsburg as the Doom Bell tolled and the Castle’s voice echoed the new decree over the town.

Gil supposed the war was starting to wind down, anyway.


End file.
